bleh

this week kinda sucked. i didn't play very well during practice or our games. i didn't do very well on the test i took/got back. but what else is new there. i think school in general just sucks. plus our field hockey season is about to end, which means i'm going to have to deal with ifhck. god knows what that is going to be like.

and on top of that, socially, this week sucked. i mean some people seem to think that wherever i go, someone else goes. which isn't true. i mean i don't know if thats the reason someone seems to have a stick up her ass towards me, but i will bet big money it is. and people wonder why i was "bitchy" last year, well this is like the match that lit the fuse. i mean i suddenly feel like i'm a joke in everybody's eyes. sophomore year sucks. i have to say freshman year was a bit of a social/emotional strain or burden, but it's looking like it was pretty great compared to this year. i think it's because i'm such a push-over, that people think oh she won't mind if we ditch her today. and the following day, and so on. i mean i'm sorry, if i don't get to see you that often i want to hang out or sit with you.

isn't life about doing things you don't want to do. you shouldn't avoid things. people need to realize that once in a while your going to be in a situation you don't want to be in because you don't like the activity or the people there, but that is life. you can't be happy or have your way every fucking minute. other people have feelings. arghhhhh. i just wish i had someone i could tell all this to. or atleast someone who could relate. becca's too tired to talk since she's been sick. which kind of sucks, since i don't wanna be around her and then get the field hockey team sick. and the one person i REALLY want to talk to is never aroudn or is too busy.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
~My birthday next sunday.
~st. x dance next saturday.
~fall break the week after next.
~going back to dance soon, so i can see all my friends.